Starting anew in a junk of a car
full of bare necessities,
moving cross country across America.
Where I am headed I don’t know.
Through hills and oceans,
cityscapes, slums,
where the sun beats down the desert land,
through green forests.
Tennessee Memphis perhaps.
That’s where my folks are.
I heard the place is full of trees and greenery,
toads and ponds.
I think I would appreciate being away from the big city for a while.
Perhaps the city of the King
will indeed be a surprise sanctuary for me.
I dunno.
I only dream of healing, restoration,
green trees and tea,
sweet breezes and new loves,
lots of new canvases and painted old ones,
stories to keep me alive
and keep others listening through the midnight,
songs to be birthed out of my belly and guitar.

Like a clean slate, I start anew
with a new me.  
Forget about who I was before.
Even the good things sometimes you have to trash
in order to step into the new.
Like a man buried in the grave
and in three days to rise again,
my past has been buried with all of its
cross carrying labors of love.
I will find new wings to carry me
into the new future
where nothing awaits me
but Your promises written in these sacred pages.

I prefer it that way
that I may lose myself completely.
What remains of the past to be erased forever.
I look for a new hat to wear,
a new look and hairdo for a new place.
I only have with me the residue of pain, blood, and spit,
what remains of my sanity, and my eyes.
My eyes to see the world as You see them.
Beauty, pain, loves, children and young people.
My eyes to translate the world around me
into something worthwhile,
my heart that feels with aching and love
like a woman in labor,
the violence and the chaos around me
into a song of beauty.

I would prefer to resign,
resign into your arms,
into my resting place,
full of white and lights
where only love dwells.
When I close my eyes I see You
and Your kingdom,
children dancing,
wide open fields and wild horses running.
Yet when I open them, I come back to where
nothing is solved and the residues of pain remains.
That is why I write, paint and draw,
to keep a connection to that invisible place
where no moth nor rust destroys.
It is into your beauty I resign,
where my past is eradicated into nothingness.
Every cell of my body disappears
into your perfect love.
I’m nothing.
You are everything.